At this time last year we had just arrived in Houston and we felt so afraid and out of sync. It was a huge transition for our family. All of the normal comings and goings ceased and our full focus was on saving Nora’s life. Liam didn’t get to play soccer last spring, Asher was […]
Every baby is special, every life is important, and every Mom wants to show off her baby. For those of us who lose our babies too soon, we don’t ever get to show them off and we rarely get to say their names or tell people about them. In our country, thousands of babies are still […]
October 27th was supposed to be Scarlet’s due date. This day represented so much hope for me and for my family. I have been anxiously waiting for this day since I met Kailee in May. But here I am, awake since 3am, engorged with milk, unable to bring myself to pump for this imaginary baby […]
I’m am now 21 weeks and 5 days pregnant. We are getting so close to viability! Of course, just because a baby is viable (could possibly survive outside of the womb) it doesn’t mean he will survive if born, but at least there is a chance. One of the hardest things about losing Lucy was […]
I am so sorry I haven’t written any blog posts lately. I have a lot of posts written in my head, I’m just struggling to find time to get them typed out. This post was supposed to be published on October 25th, but I wasn’t able to finish it completely so I’m only just now […]
On this day one year ago a little girl was born at 37 weeks and six days. We had been praying for this baby and waiting for her birth for months. She was going to be our rainbow baby, our hope and redemption after the storm. Scarlet Mae. We had stared at her ultrasound pictures […]
* A quick apology- I’m in pain and tired so I’m not proofreading this, just throwing it out there as fast as I can type it. Sorry for any mistakes. The past couple of days did not go at all like I had planned them to go in my head. Yesterday was my 10 week […]
On days like today I usually decide not to post anything on the blog because it’s depressing, but today I am because it is real. On days like today everything reminds me of her. I still cannot believe she is gone. I’m shocked when I find myself buying tampons. I shouldn’t be buying tampons. The […]
We found out on Lucy’s due date that we were pregnant with baby number four and we were so thrilled. I actually had an appetite for the first time since losing Lucy and it was glorious. I ate everything I wanted and the food actually tasted GOOD. I forgot that food can taste good. I […]
I remember planning my wedding and stressing out over the many details I was supposed to care about. I was way more excited about marriage than I was the wedding, so it was kind of an inconvenience for me (is that horrible?) Anyway, one of the hardest parts for me was deciding on the verses […]
One of the first things that doctors and patients want to find out after a mother’s antibody screen comes back positive for anti-Kell antibodies is whether the baby is positive or negative for the Kell antigen. In fact, the rest of the treatment for the pregnancy and the baby’s outcome in the end often depends […]
As I’m cooking breakfast, my four year old nonchalantly asks, “Hey Mom, when is God going to give us our baby sister back?” My heart drops. “Oh buddy, baby Lucy isn’t ever coming back.” His face falls. “We can ask God to give us another baby sister if you want.” “No Mommy, He ran out […]
I have read Job several times and heard the story all my life. I am reading it again and I couldn’t believe it when I read that Job wished he had been stillborn. I have always skimmed right over that part, but obviously this time it caught my eye. Most of you probably know the […]
As I continue navigating my way through this high risk pregnancy, which is my fourth Kell sensitized pregnancy, I am learning so many things along the way. I could share about the truths this baby is teaching me about hardship, perseverance and faith but for this blog post I wanted to just list some of […]