I have dreamed of hitting this milestone since the day I found out I was pregnant. It seemed impossible. I thought we would have at least 2 or 3 intrauterine blood transfusions under our belt by now if we did make it this far, but by God’s grace I am 24 weeks and Nora still […]
Lately I have been feeling very discouraged, anxious and just disheartened. Lucy’s first birthday in heaven is approaching and there are some daunting events coming up in the next couple of months that seem impossible to get through. Every time I pictured Lucy’s first birthday during this past year, I always saw myself lighting the […]
On Monday I had my 25 week check up. I expected everything to be perfect since Nora had been kicking and moving like crazy ever since her transfusion. The doctor did an MCA scan and it was somewhere around 1.6! That means (supposedly) that Nora is quite anemic even though she just had a blood […]
I have dreamed of hitting this milestone since the day I found out I was pregnant. It seemed impossible. I thought we would have at least 2 or 3 intrauterine blood transfusions under our belt by now if we did make it this far, but by God’s grace I am 24 weeks and Nora still […]
Today is yet another hard day for us. March 19th, 2014 was Jude’s due date; our precious baby Jude, our fourth child that we know absolutely nothing about. We are so sad that we have to wait until heaven to meet him or her. We are comforted by the fact that Jude is with Lucy […]
On Monday I had my first MCA scan at 14 weeks and 1 day. We started MCA scans at 14 weeks with Callum as well and with Nora we had the first MCA scan at 15 weeks. I was very nervous leading up to the scan and expected there to be no heartbeat. I kept […]
Losing a baby turns your world upside down. Everything feels wrong. There’s nothing right about a baby dying before her parents. One of the hardest things to understand is why people like drug abusers and child molesters get to have healthy babies but my babies die. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being punished for my […]
I have had this blog post mostly written and sitting in my draft folder for months now, waiting to be published. It weighs on me and I think about it often, rewriting certain sentences in my mind, adding and editing mentally while I go about my tasks during the day. Mostly, I want the whole […]
Anti-Kell antibodies, along with the other red cell antibodies during pregnancy, can be very confusing and scary, especially when you are newly diagnosed and trying to figure out what is going on. Since the disorder is very rare, medical professionals don’t encounter it often and sometimes have to rely on their memory of what they […]
I’m emotionally and physically exhausted so I’ll make this as quick as possible. Today we got some really bad news and some really amazing news. The bad news is that our amniocentesis results came back and Nora is kell positive like her Daddy and her big brother Asher and big sister Lucy (Asher was safe […]
I’m emotionally and physically exhausted so I’ll make this as quick as possible. Today we got some really bad news and some really amazing news. The bad news is that our amniocentesis results came back and Nora is kell positive like her Daddy and her big brother Asher and big sister Lucy (Asher was safe […]
16 months ago we went in for Lucy’s second intrauterine blood transfusion, but instead, we helplessly watched her heart stop beating and a couple hours later we were inducing labor. I have lived 16 months without my baby. It’s like going 16 months without food, or water or air or sunshine, but worse. Seriously, think […]
Losing a baby turns your world upside down. Everything feels wrong. There’s nothing right about a baby dying before her parents. One of the hardest things to understand is why people like drug abusers and child molesters get to have healthy babies but my babies die. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being punished for my […]
Welcome to my blog. It is terrifying to write a blog, especially one about the most personal thing in your life. I now have so much admiration for anyone who has put themselves out there and started a blog. I originally started writing this to chronicle our journey through grief and IVF and surrogacy. It […]