Before dinner, Asher always thanks God for the food and asks Him for a new baby. The other night Liam said, “I want God to put baby Lucy in your belly.” I told him that it won’t be Lucy, but maybe He would give us another girl. He said, “Ok, and we will name her […]
God has completely shocked us and blessed us beyond belief and it couldn’t have come at a better time. We desperately needed something encouraging to happen to us after losing Lucy, Jude, Pax and “Scarlet” in less than two years. I was steeling myself for yet another difficult Thanksgiving and Christmas without a baby in […]
One year ago today Josh and I drove to Atlanta to meet with Dr. Trevett for the first time. We had decided that if Dr. Trevett seemed knowledgeable about Kell and was on board with our treatment plan, then we would try again for our last baby. We arrived at Georgia Perinatal Consultants one year ago […]
I want to start this post by saying how thankful I am for doctors like Dr. Ken Moise. He thinks outside of the box and works so hard to come up with new treatment ideas instead of just doing what doctors have done for years. Nora is alive because he helped pioneer the use of […]
I feel like I have come full circle and I’m back where I was a year and a half ago, clinging to God in desperation. After Lucy died and all of our dreams of future children died with her, I struggled to breathe, to even exist. Every minute was painful. I wrote a very simple […]
I can’t believe it has been a whole year since I lost my baby Lucy and saw her sweet face for the first and last time. February 8th was the worst day of my life, but it was the best day of Lucy’s life. How strange. Laboring and giving birth to her was extremely traumatic […]
After I lost Lucy I was shocked and devastated by my loss, my empty arms and the abrupt end to my pregnancy. The bleeding, the milk coming in, the hormones, the painful recovery after childbirth- all of it without a baby to fill my arms. It is completely unnatural to end a pregnancy without a […]
October 27th was supposed to be Scarlet’s due date. This day represented so much hope for me and for my family. I have been anxiously waiting for this day since I met Kailee in May. But here I am, awake since 3am, engorged with milk, unable to bring myself to pump for this imaginary baby […]
Here’s the story of how we lost our Lucy Dair. We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant with our third child. I had a strong suspicion it was a girl from the beginning. We had prayed for this baby and we were thrilled that God had blessed us with another sweet […]
It’s been a few weeks since I updated the blog. Our baby boy is still doing really well and holding his own against the antibodies week by week. I am now 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant which means that the baby is technically viable. The survival rates for a baby born at 23-24 weeks […]
I want to start this post by saying how thankful I am for doctors like Dr. Ken Moise. He thinks outside of the box and works so hard to come up with new treatment ideas instead of just doing what doctors have done for years. Nora is alive because he helped pioneer the use of […]
The past few nights Josh has had nightmares that the boys are in danger and he can’t save them. He can’t rescue them. This morning I took my boys swimming with some friends. On my way out the door Josh said, “Hey, don’t let my kids drown.” I laughed and said he was weird and […]
Today is our baby Pax’s due date. It is also Father’s Day and my Dad’s birthday, a loaded day, full of emotion. I was so excited to have a baby due on “Grandbarry’s” birthday, to have a fifth child. I always wanted five kids. Before I would commit to dating Josh I asked him if […]
Here’s the story of how we lost our Lucy Dair. We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant with our third child. I had a strong suspicion it was a girl from the beginning. We had prayed for this baby and we were thrilled that God had blessed us with another sweet […]