I had my 36th ultrasound yesterday to check on baby one last time before the IUT on Monday and to check his weight. The weight estimate is very important because the doctors use it to decide how much sedative/paralytic to give the baby before the procedure, and how much donor blood to give him during […]
I know that this is probably not theologically correct and it’s definitely not in the Bible. It is just an imaginary scenario of mine. The other day while I was doing dishes (which is usually when I do my deep thinking and hard crying) I was thinking about the trinity: The Father, The Son and […]
Our seventh and last IUT is done and now we have less than a week until we meet our son! The IUT was performed at 35 weeks and 4 days and it went well. Thankfully the baby was in a great position for the procedure. His beginning hematocrit was 32 and ending hematocrit was 44. […]
I am now 14 weeks pregnant and on Monday we had a very important scan. We are happy to report that we got all good news. I had gone three whole weeks without an ultrasound leading up to Monday’s appointment so I was nervous baby might not be doing well. My mind kept replaying my […]
Losing a baby turns your world upside down. Everything feels wrong. There’s nothing right about a baby dying before her parents. One of the hardest things to understand is why people like drug abusers and child molesters get to have healthy babies but my babies die. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being punished for my […]
This week I got these books in the mail, and I’m so excited. I read An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination in two sittings. I couldn’t put it down. I loved it. I think I might just read it again. Books have been such a lifeline for me since losing Lucy. There […]
Dr. Moise, Our miracle baby Nora will be a year old in a couple of days. We know that without you, this past year would have been very different and Nora would not be here with us today. One whole year of kisses. One whole year of full arms and mended hearts, of doting big […]
Yesterday I had my first round of plasmapheresis to try to lower my antibody level. They basically took out my plasma (the part of my blood that contains the antibodies) and replaced it with super filtered/purified plasma from lots of other people. I used to donate plasma in college to earn some extra money, and […]
Our baby boy is still holding steady and doing well. At 17 weeks his MoM was 1.08. Yesterday at 18 weeks his highest MoM was 1.2 and there were no signs of extra fluid, dilated heart or echogenic bowels (possible signs of anemia.) He is growing beautifully and now weighs 9 ounces. He consistently has […]
Thank you, Jesus, the baby’s anemia level went DOWN! We are shocked and are basking in the warmth of new hope for this baby. When I woke up this morning I felt unnaturally peaceful and confident. I truly felt surrounded by God’s love and protection. I kept having this image in my head of angels […]
Every baby is special, every life is important, and every Mom wants to show off her baby. For those of us who lose our babies too soon, we don’t ever get to show them off and we rarely get to say their names or tell people about them. In our country, thousands of babies are stillborn […]
On Monday I had my first MCA scan at 14 weeks and 1 day. We started MCA scans at 14 weeks with Callum as well and with Nora we had the first MCA scan at 15 weeks. I was very nervous leading up to the scan and expected there to be no heartbeat. I kept […]
Anti-Kell antibodies, along with the other red cell antibodies during pregnancy, can be very confusing and scary, especially when you are newly diagnosed and trying to figure out what is going on. Since the disorder is very rare, medical professionals don’t encounter it often and sometimes have to rely on their memory of what they […]
Once again the days between my blog posts have stretched out to weeks and now months. I remember when I first started this blog in 2013 I was in such agony, it felt almost blasphemous to include the word hope in the title. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was caught in […]