So much of what I believe and feel is shaped by my perspective. I never thought about this much before losing Lucy, but when she died it hit me like a slap in the face. And it keeps hitting me, every day. I am still shocked by things every day that I was totally unaware […]
For those of us who lose our babies too soon, we don’t ever get to show them off and we rarely get to say their names or tell people about them. In our country, thousands of babies are stillborn every year, roughly one every twenty minutes. There are even more miscarriages. Here on my blog, I […]
Today our beautiful Nora is three years old. Usually as my kids grow from baby to big kid I grieve the swift passing of childhood, but after our experience of losing Lucy and fighting for Nora and Callum I feel differently as my kids grow. I savor it all like never before and the baby […]
Are any of you interested in donating plasma in order to help save lives? As an added bonus, you can make some money while doing it. If you have anti-D antibodies or have a negative blood type, you could qualify to become a donor for a company called Grifols. They use plasma to create an […]
Still not in. We feel like we are going crazy waiting for the phone call, keeping the phone nearby at all times and jumping every time it rings. As I wait I am drawn back to God for reassurance and peace. Where else can I go? Waiting is frustrating but it is also a gift. […]
These last few weeks I have been getting through the days weighted down with stifling depression and grief. Sometimes it lets up, but since I lost Jude it has laid heavy on me. This last week I let myself be honest with God and I said, “You say you will be close to the broken […]
Today our beautiful Nora is three years old. Usually as my kids grow from baby to big kid I grieve the swift passing of childhood, but after our experience of losing Lucy and fighting for Nora and Callum I feel differently as my kids grow. I savor it all like never before and the baby […]
Last year at this time my newborn Callum was in the NICU and I was staying at the Ronald McDonald House with two year old Nora and my Mom (most of the time.) Since Callum’s first birthday I have been surprised and kind of annoyed by the waves of emotion I’ve been experiencing. The days […]
Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed with fear for the baby and was even feeling scared of God. Sometimes I am afraid that His best plan for my life includes more suffering and terrible loss in the future (including the loss of this precious baby.) I was alone in a pretty courtyard while Josh took the […]
Lately I have been feeling very discouraged, anxious and just disheartened. Lucy’s first birthday in heaven is approaching and there are some daunting events coming up in the next couple of months that seem impossible to get through. Every time I pictured Lucy’s first birthday during this past year, I always saw myself lighting the […]
This was one of the first posts I ever wanted to make. I think I started writing this post in my head the moment I saw Lucy’s beautiful, lifeless body. It’s only taken me about 6 months to post it. As I have said before, several days before Lucy died I knew she wasn’t doing […]
This week has been busy and full of ups and downs. The ups have outnumbered the downs so we are thankful for that. We’ve actually had a lot of encouraging things happen this week. On Monday and Tuesday I had my first two IVIG (intravenous immunoglobulin) treatments done in the hospital. I was nervous going […]
Luke 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. This verse in Luke is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Mary had just given birth to her first child and a little while later a group of shepherds came running in, telling her about angels that had […]
Yesterday baby boy’s MCA scan showed that he is probably anemic and needing his first blood transfusion. His MoM was around 1.49 and Dr. Trevett wants to play it safe and go ahead with an IUT. After the scan yesterday I was given my first steroid shot to develop baby’s lungs in case he has […]