February 7th | Losing Lucy and Finding Hope

On this day five years ago my lifelong dream of becoming a mother came true when I met my Liam Joshua for the first time. That was one of the happiest days of my life. On this day one year ago I was told that my baby girl was dying and there was nothing we could do. How strange that this day represents the day that my dreams came true and the day that my worst nightmare came true too. Last year on this day I wasn’t getting decorations ready for my four year old’s birthday party, I was googling stillbirth to prepare for the death of my daughter.

Life is beautiful and tragic.

Happy 5th birthday to my biggest boy. You are the sweetness that God put in my life to balance out the tragedy. You brighten my days with your amazing brain, your sensitive heart and your fearless stunts. I appreciate the gift that you are, now more than ever before. You make me so happy and proud. I still can’t believe I get to be your mother.