* A quick apology- I’m in pain and tired so I’m not proofreading this, just throwing it out there as fast as I can type it. Sorry for any mistakes. The past couple of days did not go at all like I had planned them to go in my head. Yesterday was my 10 week […]
I have had this blog post mostly written and sitting in my draft folder for months now, waiting to be published. It weighs on me and I think about it often, rewriting certain sentences in my mind, adding and editing mentally while I go about my tasks during the day. Mostly, I want the whole […]
We have been so disheartened and discouraged lately, it is hard to believe we are back at square one. I still can’t believe all of the work we did and all of the money saved and donated did not end in our rainbow baby. Four times in the past two years we have opened our […]
*Sorry in advance for any mistakes…I didn’t have access to a computer so I had to type this post out on my phone. I am 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Just typing that out and seeing it written here on my blog seems unbelievable to me. How have we made it this far without […]
Another good update, thank you Lord! Our baby’s weekly scans are still looking perfect and he is thriving so far. We thought we would be moving MCA scans from once a week to twice per week, but he keeps looking so good on ultrasound, and his numbers are showing no anemia, so we are still […]
We have a slight (maybe not so slight?) change in our adoption plans. There were A LOT of factors going into this decision, that I won’t share here, but we are going to complete our adoption through a private attorney instead of Bethany Christian Services. After a lot of prayer, discussion and input from both […]
Isaiah 41:17-20 When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys. I will make the […]
This past weekend we had our yard sale fundraiser for our adoption. It was so much work and it was so much fun. I don’t think I have felt this encouraged and hopeful since losing Lucy. Josh and I had been saving things we didn’t need for a few months, but it only amounted to […]
When I lost Lucy I knew the grief would overtake my world and would feel unbearable. It did. One surprising aspect of the grief has been the intense pain caused by pregnant bellies and baby girls. They remind me of what I don’t have. Even pictures of my OWN pregnant belly are impossible to look […]
Several people have asked us how we came up with the name Callum and others have asked why he has two middle names. Josh and I really struggled to come up with Callum’s name since we had already named seven babies before him (Liam Joshua, Asher Caleb, Lucy Dair, Jude, Pax, Scarlet Mae and Nora […]
This is so exciting…the post I’ve been waiting to write for so many months now. We are expecting a baby in October! No, we are not pregnant, but we are still expecting our third earth baby to arrive in October. We have been chosen by the most amazing expectant mother (“K”) and father (“P”) who’s […]
Nora made it through her first intrauterine blood transfusion safely and is doing great as far as we can tell. Her heart rate never dropped during the procedure so thankfully they didn’t have to deliver! They were able to hit her umbilical vein with the needle on the first try (still amazes me) and her […]
Yesterday I got the call from Dr. Trevett that I had been anxiously waiting for. I knew right away from the tone of his voice that the results were not good. Unfortunately, our baby is kell positive. Josh’s genes win again. The odds are supposedly 50/50 but Asher, Lucy, Nora and now this baby are […]
This ache for her, this absence in our family, the missing her. It never goes away. Today I was at the playground with Asher and my niece and nephew. Right when we got there I noticed a baby girl Lucy’s age toddling around. My pulse began to race immediately and the anxiety started to grow. […]